Crossing The Bridge by John Godfrey Dec ember 19th 2011

I have passed this little bridge and pond pictured here many times and I've always wanted to take a picture of it. So, recently I decided to stop and give it a shot! I have to admit that I was a little nervous because this property belongs to a private family and unfortunately I did not see anyone available to ask permission to photograph it. With that in mind I pulled my car over and made a few pictures very quickly, then I left the scene! If you read this and the property belongs to you I hope you don't mind. Your property intrigues me.

Most of you who have read my ramblings know that I see things many times that are a bit more than meets the eye. Basically when I look at something it seems that my mind automatically builds into the scene something different or deeper than what is there before me. This scene proved to be another one of those times.

click on the picture to enlarge

As you look at the picture what do you see? A small bridge? A barn like building or the pond? Of course that's only natural because they are there. But the more I look at it the more I see. My imagination has always gone wild so hang in there with me a minute and I'll try to describe it to you.

That old bridge crossing the pond made me stop and think of my life as crazy as it may sound! To the left of the picture you see the beginning point where the land is solidly connecting to the bridge; that to me reminds me of my life's beginning foundation. It was a time of fun, laughter, learning, and ever changing emotions that I'll never forget! For the most part it was safe and a part of me wanted to stay always, but that was not to be.

I grew a little older and my ventures slowly led me away from the safe begging point of my youth. I began to head further out on my bridge of life. The more I moved out the more exciting it became! Even though I was doing what is a normal part of life by venturing out, I still would look back at my foundations or beginnings not wanting to completely let go. There they were behind me, my family, my friends, and my past experiences; they were all there to help keep me grounded in a strange sort of way. But I kept moving further out.

After a while I found myself traveling further out faster than I ever expected! Everything was moving in my fast pace life. Things changed rapidly...friends and relationships changed before I even knew they were gone. I wanted to hang on to it all, but I couldn't because I needed to go on and I knew they needed to move on as well. I felt the hands of those I cared for slipping away as I moved out yet further and they went their own ways. I continued my journey occasionally crossing some very shaky parts of my bridge and rotten parts as well that almost let me slip through, but somehow I would get back up and I managed to move a little further again.

There were many times that I would stop, turn around and look back, but I began to notice that my life's bridge was carrying me so far away that it was getting harder to see those that I had left behind. I always felt in my heart that they were still there...somewhere. I loved them, but I knew I had to keep going. I was fighting to succeed and I wanted to be someone people would be proud of as I crossed on.

Then one day, I reached the dreaded middle of the bridge. I had heard about this part of the journey from so many people before. Now the bridge seemed to be getting harder to cross; all of a sudden everything seemed to be going up hill and I found my steps slowing some; I was getting tired and when I looked back there was very little that I could show for my trip thus far. I looked back toward my beginning and I felt a little sad. I could almost see them, but I knew that some of the faces I loved were now gone completely from view. I was at the highest point of my bridge but at the lowest point of my life when I finally stopped to rest a bit. I turned and looked at the water below. The water was full of reflections of my past. Some made me smile as I remembered while others almost made me cry. I found myself thinking, "You should have done better on this bridge", "You've let so many down that depended on you", "You barely know where you're going and you can't even grasp where you've been." "How can you keep going when you know you will do the same as you go forward?" At that point on the bridge I knew that I had to make a choice...

Do I go on and finish my venture, or do I turn back to where I've been? I also felt that there was a third choice that I could make in my new found depressed state of mind...I asked myself...Would it not be best for everyone if I simply jump over the side of my bridge and stop the trip now?

Can I turn back now? No not really, its actually further back to where I came from than it is to where I'm going. And besides I have to realize that things have changed so much back where I came from that they can never be the same again no matter how badly I want it. So I know in my heart that I can't really go back. Do I jump now and call it all quits? No, I can't do that either...its the selfish way out and besides I would be heaping coals of sadness on the next generation that will be crossing here behind me. They would reach this point and remember the place I decided to stop and quit. I can't do that to them...I can't be that kind of example.

Looks like my only choice is to go on. There are still those that love me and pray for me on this journey and they want me to finish well. I've met and loved so many along my bridge and their faces are always in my mind. So I look up, turn, and start moving forward again. Strange...I can't see the other side yet but I know its getting very close. Even though I can't see it I know it will be the place I've longed for my whole life! A feeling engulfs me the closer I get to the other side. I can feel their presence and love in the breeze. I can see the smiles and almost hear the laughter as they wait for me. My loved ones behind are pushing me to keep going while those in front of me are reaching out and saying you're going to make it! Now I find myself reaching for the hands of those that crossed the bridge before and it starts to feel like home again. As I reach the end of my bridge it finally occurs to me that the this was never my bridge. No this bridge belongs to all of us that meet along the way. The trip across was never about me, it was about them. If I had taken the time to put others before myself instead of passing them by, I would have been much happier.

Crossing life's bridge is very hard at times, but once you've started in the journey you can never really go back. You just hold the memories from the past in your heart and keep the love alive there until you reach the other side. I'm almost to the end of my bridge and much of my venture has gone wrong along the way because of wrong decisions. My prayer...I just want to finish well.

Maybe Its Time For An Attitude Adjustment

Warning...this is not about photography...this is a personal rant! So there, you've been warned. :-)

Does it make sense to you that we live in a country where a man is threatened with 30 years in jail for lying to congress about his steroid use while playing sports, while at the same time a young mother (if you can call her that) goes Scott free when every terrible detail points to the fact that she killed on purpose, or at least accidentally killed her little girl and covered it up? The sports figure's lies to congress are definitely wrong, but all he is guilty of is lying to a bunch of professional liars. And for that he may get 30 years in prison! Things are backwards my friends.

Do the following two words ring a bell with any of you? "Attitude Adjustment" I dare to say that to the younger generation those two words may not mean much, but to the older generation; those over 50 years and especially to those that are now 60 years of age or older, those words probably bring up certain disturbing mental pictures to your mind. Images like your dad grabbing you by the ear and taking you out back to "The Woodshed" for an attitude adjustment! Remember those days? Some do I'm sure.

Those adjustments were not child abuse, but no doubt they would be categorized that way now. No, they were simply stern, informative, hands-on adjustments that were required shortly after we sassed, disobeyed, or broke the rules that our parents (or any other respectable adult for that matter) had set in place. Okay shut your ears and cover your eyes...yes I was spanked! Oh the horrible damage of it all! (lol) No silly, I was spanked but never abused...ever! I'll go on the record...I hate child abuse, but some kids, and adults, could use an old fashion spanking for sure! There is a huge difference between a corrective spanking of the bottom and child abuse. Okay, no doubt I just lost some of you. To the others still here, hang on it gets worse!

It may have been different for you. Maybe your "Woodshed" experience was in another room, or just out in the back yard where no one could see; regardless those attitude adjustment usually got our attention the way they were meant to. In the end (no pun intended) we kids usually found a way to change our sorry uncaring attitudes and we "got with the program" in a way that benefited our family and our neighborhoods instead of just ourselves!

What's my point? I guess you can see that I've got something to say and by golly I'm gonna say it!

I, along with what I honestly believe are millions of other Americans, think its time for our Big Babies in Washington DC to have a good old fashioned "Attitude Adjustment!"

Personally in my humble opinion, be they Democrat, Republican, or Independent, every member of Congress and the Senate should be included.

Oh and we need to catch Obama by the ear and include him too before he escapes! (Note: This is just an expression, not an actual request to grab the President by any means. Nor do I advocate taking our representatives out to a woodshed. Its just a figure of speech so lighten up will ya? Man, you never know how people take things these days)

Sure, a few of them are doing better than others, but they still need to be included just so they won't forget the lessons learned. I'm tired of being bossed by selfish crying full grown babies that supposedly work for me and you. Something needs to change. We were promised "Change". Little did we know it would include diapers...well it could happen!)

Here's the deal...They (the DC babies crowd) keep telling us that now is the time for the citizens of the United States to be ready for the hard decisions. Everything must be placed on the table in order for us to take care of the looming mountain of debt that our nation is facing. They say its our duty as Americans to tighten our belt and sacrifice....HOGWASH! They want us to cater to them while they remain the same or better off and that's it!

Here's my response to our beloved representatives in DC. You may ask me to help anytime. As an American citizen and a veteran I want my country to survive and even prosper, but first lets go to the "woodshed" with each and every one we've elected to represent us. Lets see...that would be about 535 attitude adjustments; 100 Senators and 435 Representatives from the house (hope that's correct?). Anyway that's a lot of whoopins' but by George its worth it!

If you are like me then you don't mind helping our country in times of need. If you, the country's leaders, will lead by example then I'll follow, but don't push me or my family to sacrifice when you don't intend to do any sacrificing yourself. I really don't respond well to pushing; never have and never will! Great Leaders lead by example first!

You say that Social Security is an "entitlement" for us. Sorry but NOPE we have paid into that system for years with little hope of a good return. It was our hard earned money that you have stolen to fund your pet projects. So find a way to fix it or go to jail; that would be my response!

Since 2007 our economy has been crashing. Americans have watched you waste money and do nothing but dig us into a deeper hole financially. We have lost jobs, homes, 401K's, Health Insurance and on it goes. What about you our trusted leaders?

Here's the facts about what you really are doing and some ideas that if taken to heart might begin to show that you really care about the Americans that put you in office and not just yourselves.

Fact #1: You have voted yourselves pay raises of about $8,800.00 during that same period of time since 2007 bringing your average salaries to $174,000.00. The majority and minority leaders make $193,400.00 annually while the Speaker of the House makes $233,500.00. In the meantime you arrogantly fuss at company CEO's and call them on the carpet to testify for making the "Big Bucks" and for flying their personal corporate jets. You say they are wasteful and are taking advantage of the stock holders and employees. At least most of them invested and worked for what they have and didn't steal the money from everyday people and old folks. Of course there are always a few bad apples, but most prospered because they risked to start a company or to grow their business. Oh by the way, President Obama makes $400,000.00 a year plus another $169,000.00 a year for travel, entertainment,and whatever else he wants. That's $569,000.00 for those of us that are counting. He also took in over $1,700,000.00 last year from book sales etc. No wonder he is smiling all the time!

So honestly, how about taking a look in the mirror Senator, Congressman, or Mr President, before you set yourself up as a judge of others? Truth is that on top of your salaries your average median personal wealth (not including the President) as our sacrificing government servants was $911,500.00 in 2009 and I'm sure its more now. Many of you are multimillionaires and I really don't care if you are, but I gotta ask...so how did you get your money? If your getting fatter and want to tax the poor or middle class more then shame on you!

Idea #1 If you really want and believe we should have higher taxes and deep cuts in Social Security and Medicare, then you go first and I'll follow. You could all start off by giving back the $8,800.00 each in raises you pocketed while we all suffered over the last few years. Maybe you can put the money into something worthwhile like feeding the hungry, or how about putting it back into the Social Security fund that you all have secretly drained away over the years? That would be almost 5 Million Dollars every year saved...its not a lot, but its a start! Then to show us more good will why not put your future raises on freeze status until you find a way to bring our economy back from the dead! I think you can live off of what you already make. After all you expect us to live off of much much less!

Whats important...your power and personal wealth or the future of your country? The elderly and poor along with families and businesses are suffering while you prosper. Is that really what you were elected for?

Fact #2: You have all voted yourselves great benefits in Healthcare and Retirement. You do not want to be on Social Security like us and you definitely do not want to be placed on the average person's Healthcare programs.

Idea #2 Bite the bullet and place yourself on the same systems as the people you supposedly serve. You have different Healthcare and Retirement systems that everyone knows are far better than your constituents, so how about joining us. After all we hired you...When did you become the elite class?

Fact #3: You give tax breaks, incentives, and low interest or no interest loans to foreign investors that want to start businesses in the United States. Wow how thoughtful. Are you great or what? (a little tongue in cheek there)

Idea #3 Here's a brilliant idea that you never thought of...How about giving the same tax breaks,incentives, and low or no interest loans to your own citizens. That way you will bring back jobs, stimulate the economy, and increase tax revenues, instead of crushing small businesses with your stupid taxes and regulations that send our businesses and jobs out of the country. How smart would that be? Are your thoughts consumed with taxing us and giving away our country to the world? Sorta looks like it huh?

Fact #4: You say that we must raise taxes to pay for increased spending.

Idea #4 First, stop wasting our tax money on non essential spending! You know what is essential and what projects are done just for votes. Most of what you spend our money for is spent to pacify people so you will get re-elected! Next, how about introducing a "Flat Tax" or something like it to place every person on the same tax percentage playing field according to personal income. Close the legal tax "Loopholes" that give the big wigs and the middle class ways of not paying their fare share. Exclude the verified poor and elderly from taxes all together.

Fact #5 From the President on down millions or actually billions are raised and spent on your combined re-election campaigns. Is that a waste of money or what? Is power that important to you? Old ladies and children are starving but at least you get elected. Awesome! Sorry, but when you get into office the results we get are far from worth the money spent to get you there.

Idea #5 Place real limits on how much money is spent on campaigns and set the limits low enough where everyday qualified people could afford to run for office. Give each person equal radio and television time and let the government pay for it. That would stop those of you that basically buy elections due to money you can raise from special interest groups. (poor baby...don't cry!) If you really want to impress people go ahead and raise all the money you can, but give the amount over the set limit to our national debt. (I know that will never be done because the politicians want the power that comes with that money. They want elected and they really do not care how they get it.)

I haven't even scratched the surface. If we do not stop being dependent on other countries we will fall. We need to drill here for oil and dig for coal while exploring all other alternatives. It can be done without harming our environment. Stop listening to the extreme environmentalist that are controlling you and our future. Put America first; not yourselves and definitely not our enemies. Close the border to illegals now! Never send our troops to a fight that we do not plan to win as quickly as possible. Just to mention a few.

Please stop pushing Your Agenda and Start Leading by Example...Do any of you in Washington DC have the moral courage to do what is right? You, our elected officials have just been taken to the "Woodshed" for an "Attitude Adjustment" by an average man. I pray you'll learn from it.

Note: Images on this post are Clip Art and not originals by John Godfrey.

Photography Just For Fun ...My "52 Project"

I've been sort of stagnant in my photography lately and I'm frustrated at my laziness. The thing I love about photography is that you can go out anywhere and find a spot to create an image just for the fun of it! Its my way of relaxing and getting my mind off of the things in this world that tend to drag you down.

My mother used to say..."You need to come apart before you come apart!" It took me a while to understand exactly what she meant. Pressure can certainly make you "come apart" emotionally and physically. So before that happens we need to get away from the pressure "come apart" for a little relief to help keep our lives balanced. Its not to say that we run away from responsibility, far from it, we just find ways to break away to find relief! A little relief can help you think clearer about what you need to do to resolve some of those issues. If you don't find a way of relief you will most likely pop! For me my stress reducer is photography and grandkids (well sometimes grandkids). Your way of dealing with pressure may be different. The object is to find time to enjoy part of life. Okay I know...enough philosophy.

A friend of mine has started doing a "365 day photo project" where he commits to creating an photo image everyday for one full year. So far he is doing great stuff! Now I'll admit that I would love to do that, but I'm not that committed yet, however, I am going to try my own "52 photo project" where (Good Lord willing) I'll look for something interesting (to me at least) to photograph at least once a week minimum until at least July of 2012. Basically I want to carry my camera with me and shoot just for the fun of it. I want to do pictures that are done for no other reason than enjoyment and to help me improve my skills as a photographer. They can be of any subject; human animal, landscapes, or structural or whatever. I feel the need to create, so I gotta get out there and just do it!

Here are a few examples taken during recent visits down in Sweet Home Alabama and around my home in Georgia. I hope to add more each week. At least I'll be keeping myself occupied and hopefully out of trouble! :-)

Kerry's "Hog" Here's my son Kerry with his Harley Davidson

"Nina's Nook" Cedar Bluff Alabama

"Magnolia's Barn" Ider Alabama

"Tiger Lilly" My front yard

"Stray Petunia" My yard

I hope you enjoyed the pictures. Find a way to go out and enjoy life if you can and while you can. Personally I need the diversion.

Its Memorial Day At Least We Can Remember

Memorial Day...

Take a minute to reflect with no images, no videos, and no sales hype, to just picture in your mind...and really remember what has been done for you and I. I want us to take a short minute to think about what its like to be away from home and family in hostile territory.

You're a Soldier, Sailor, Airman, or Marine, its makes no difference. You're thousands of miles from home. You're tired, afraid, anxious, and always on guard in your mind. When you get a few minutes where you feel a little safe, you pull letters or pictures from home out of your pocket; your wife, your children, you brothers or sisters, your mother and father...even your dog or cat. You wonder if you will ever get to see them again.

Imagine being in a cold rain covered mud filled fox hole, or on a wind blown heat drenched sand dune as your look around for the very last time as you take your last breath; imagine being on a sinking ship with no way out, or falling from the sky in a doomed aircraft. Imagine being a prisoner of war in a lonely cell with rats and little if any food as you often undergo mental and physical torture. Imagine being wounded loosing an arm or leg or worse. Imagine violently loosing some of your closest friends or buddies right in front of your eyes while you can do nothing to help.

Imagine those things and you will just be getting close to seeing what Memorial Day is about. We owe a large debt to those that gave so much. At least take a minute and remember.

Mother's Day 2011

I know that this is a late Mother's Day post, but I've had some request to share it again here. I did place it on my FaceBook page on Mothers Day but some do not have FaceBook accounts. Its a short tribute to my sweet mother that has gone on to be with the Lord and to the many moms that have influenced my life over the years. Unfortunately I did not have the space or the photos needed to include them all, but its dedicated to those other moms as well. Hope you all enjoy it. Turn on your computer volume.

Happy Late Mothers Day.

John

Remembering February 4th 1974 - Remembering Barry

As we get older it becomes apparent that certain days and events of our lives seem to stand out in our memory as clear as the day they happened. I relive one of those days every year around February 4th. Please forgive me, this subject is a little hard to read or for me to wright, but its one of those times I need to express myself in order to move on with my daily life again.

It was early Monday morning February 4th, 1974; my wife Pat and I were still asleep in bed when we were awakened by sirens. We lived in the relatively small town of Fort Oglethorpe Georgia; a town small enough to enjoy quietly on most days, but hearing sirens every now and then was not all that unusual, especially since we lived only a few blocks from the local hospital. What was unusual was the number of different sirens that interrupted our peaceful morning enough for us to sit up and take notice. We both were wondering what in the world was going on, then the telephone rang! As always my heart sank. I know that when my phone rings very early in the morning or late at night, its usually not good news. This time it was a call from the hospital and the news was bad, really bad!

The call was from my aunt Mary, she worked as a nurse at Hutcheson Medical Center (Tri-County back then I think?) and the words she spoke to me came crushing through the phone as she said, "Johnny...Barry's dead! He's been shot and you need to get down here as soon as you can." That's all I can remember of our conversation. At first I could not accept that my brother was gone. There was no way he could be dead! I wouldn't be able to accept the news until I arrived at the hospital emergency room a short time latter. The drive to the hospital took only a few minutes, yet it seemed to take a lifetime. I knew that I had to go, but I was holding back inside with everything I had because I didn't want to face the reality of it all. A few minutes after arriving a hospital employee walked over to me and handed me Barry's personal belongings; things like his wallet, a ring, and keys along with a few other items, then they walked away. As I held those remnants of his life in my hands and looked at them, that's when reality flooded my inner being and I felt my mind descend into a deep fog. It was a state of confusion and anger that would engulf my entire being and unknowingly to me back then, I would not come out of this fog for at least ten long years.

I soon found out that Barry had been shot by two paid assassins as he walked two little girls to his car to take them to school. These so called hit-men had stolen a car and were waiting for Barry to come out of his front door. How brave to lie in wait for someone that has no chance to fight back! Hollywood glamorizes these hit-men types when in reality they are cowards that hide in the shadows for money! Barry had told me a few days earlier that there had been a "contract" placed on his life and he had given me the name of the one responsible if anything should happen to him, but regrettably I thought it was just a scare tactic used to frighten him. I thought to myself, "This kind of thing does not happen in North Georgia! They're trying to scare him, that's all." Had I known this threat was for real I would have stayed by his side day and night at least for a while or until we felt it was safe. By not believing it was a true threat on his life, I've been haunted with the reality that I was not there to help him since that day and I guess it always will be in the back of my mind. I can't help but think that if we had been prepared and watched for these punks together, then maybe the outcome would have been different? I'll never know. But now it was too late, the worse had happened, but at least because he had threatened Barry's life before, I already knew who paid the money to have this done. In a short time through some law enforcement friends that I trusted, I found out the names of the two men that carried it out as well. The battle of my life and soul had just begun.

My shock at all of this soon turned to thoughts about what would be coming next. "Mother has a bad heart...how can I tell her? She can never take this news and she will die on the spot." (when my pastor and I told mother about Barry she did almost die of shock and had to be rushed by ambulance to the hospital) Again I remember thinking, "I have to call my sister in Nashville and it will devastate her." (I'll never forget her screaming and crying one-hundred and twenty-five miles away and there was nothing I could do to help her). My thoughts were bombarded with the continual thoughts of anger! "I've got to find a way to get the ones that did this to my brother...but if I do I'll end up in prison and my family will suffer even more." "What would Barry do if it had happened to me? He'd go after them I know! I have no doubt that Barry would take care of them!" I also had to ask myself the question, "As a Christian...am I justified to take a life in this situation?"

The next few years were horrible to say the least! It took a couple of years before an arrest was even made. I had already talked about the man that paid for the slaying to anyone in authority that would listen, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears. Not trusting some of the law enforcement officials, I made sure that they knew that others had the names of those responsible in case something happened to me. My wife Pat was pregnant with our first son and she had to endure as I received phone calls of threatening nature. People would call wanting me to meet them in out of the way locations stating that they would deliver one of the people responsible to me...dead! The local newspaper was threatened for publishing notes from my dad that kept the case alive. Barry's grave was trashed on a few occasions and at night we would watch and wonder about any car that drove slowly past our home. It was a difficult time for all of us. To make things worse a few years later the Catoosa County courts had failed to bring justice due to some very obvious corruption within back then. The man responsible for Barry's murder was set free without having a 100% jury vote to do so. After all of this, inside I began to feel that it was somehow up to me. In my fogged state of mind I found out exactly where the man lived that paid for my brother's death. He was still roaming around free. As time past I became obsessed with that man.

I traveled a lot in my work back then and there were no cell phones so my wife never knew what time I would be returning home. I didn't want my wife to worry about what I was doing so I took advantage of those late night hours before going home. I would make it a point to go to the Dayton Boulevard address I had verified and while there I would park up the hill from this piece of trash's house and sit there for hours. I sat there in my car with a 30/30 rifle beside me and a pistol in my lap just hoping to get a glimpse of the coward that paid to kill my brother. I know now that it was by the grace of God I never saw him coming or going. During this time my mother suffered a stroke and latter died, a few years later my dad passed as well never getting over Barry's death. Neither of them ever really recovered from this heartless act. My sister has grieved for years and her life has been devastated through it all. Basically the back shooting cowards killed more than Barry, they killed his family as well. Life has changed for all of us.

As of February 4th its been 37 years since that terrible morning that resulted in Barry's going home to be with the Lord. I admit that I still get angry at the thought of what those people did to Barry and our family for money. Thankfully I've learned to move on with life even though I can never forget. Barry was only 28 years old when this happened. He was a decent guy that really cared about people, especially people he felt were being mistreated. Even though we had our fights and arguments as we grew up, I always looked up to him. I've missed the years we could have had together growing older. I miss having a brother to confide in and to bounce my crazy ideas off of. I miss his strength, knowing I could count on him in any battle. I miss playing the guitar with him and laughing together!

Justice has partially been served. Two of the three men responsible have died in prison; the man that paid and one of the killers. Ironically they were in prison for other crimes, not Barry's death, but God still got them in the end. As for the other man, I've not been able to find him, but God knows where he is. Some say he is in the "Witness Protection Program." I don't know but I'll keep researching the internet, looking, and asking till I die. I owe that to Barry.

I'm sorry to drag you through some of the hardest days of my life but maybe there can be some lessons learned? If you love someone, never take their life for granted. Maybe its time to stop shouting at each other and really listen to what the other person is going through. Young, old, and in-between all have value. We get caught up in what is good for ourselves or..."ME" "Me" is all we want to talk about most of the time, its "My way or the Highway" while others desperately want and need to be heard. Many kids are on drugs and alcohol simply trying to find someone to listen and treat them as human. If we really listen we might be able to help change the life of others for the good or even save a life. But if we must always be intent on having our own way, it may just lead to devastation for those we love. Loosen up a little...Hug your kids more than you strike out at them. Have boundaries, say "no" when you have to, but say "yes" as often as you can. Learn to say I'm sorry to your family and friends (Nobody's Perfect not even you! lol :-) Everything can change in a heartbeat leaving you with a lifetime of regrets! Of course these are all reminders to myself of my mistakes more than anyone else so don't take it too personal.

Sorry, I didn't mean to write a novel here. I'll end by saying that even though I didn't truly hear what Barry was saying to me just a few days before his death as I should have; the good news for me is that I know there has been forgiveness available to me for my mistakes. I also have the very real hope that within the next 37 years (probably much sooner) I'll be with Barry, Mother, Dad, my sister, and relatives that have gone before...and most likely some of you too. We will start all over with a clean slate. (Hopefully my wife and sons and grandchildren will all come much later. I want to be with them, but I don't want to rush them if you know what I mean. :-)

I know this was a long blog entry and some dropped out when I said "Hello". If you made it this far then...Thanks for listening! At least I feel better now. Its called decompressing...I think? :-) Life goes on and there are many good things ahead! Never give up!

John